Love & Ruin (The Love & Ruin Series Book 1) Page 3

  “No! Stop!” I yelled with one last effort.

  Nothing. The bus didn’t slow. Instead, it continued to move forward cautiously into another lane.

  A cry lodged in my throat. Shit, I’d failed. I couldn’t even run away right. My head hung down with defeat.

  “Hey! Come on now. Hurry up!”

  “What?” My head jerked up. “I’m coming! I’m coming!” I picked up my duffel and ran, the bag banging against my shins with every step. He’d stopped. Thank God, someone had seen me. A stitch started in my side, and my breathing came in ragged bursts from the weight of my cargo.

  I stumbled up the stairs of the bus and dug into my pocket for my ticket.

  “Thank you,” I said, gasping for air.

  “Be glad someone back there saw ya.” He nodded as he closed the doors, the bus jerking forward. I staggered and limped my way to an empty seat in the middle. My body collapsed in a spot next to the window. I’d made it. Covering my mouth, I choked more tears back. I took a shaky breath and attempted to regain my composure as the parking lot faded into the distance and we pulled out onto the main road, heading toward the interstate. It was going to be a long trip, but at least I’d taken the first step.

  Chapter 3

  Three and a half days later I stepped onto the college campus. Spokane was a far cry from Louisiana. The sidewalks bustled with busy students, lugging boxes and suitcases toward the dorms. Parents followed behind them and picked up their dropped items. A knot twisted in my stomach. I’d never seen so many people in my life.

  Dazed, I struggled to take it all in, trying not to let my nerves get the better of me. My mouth hung open slightly as I absorbed the vast buildings, the architecture, towering trees, and green grass. Everything was green here. In Louisiana, burnt and brown were the colors from July through October. Nothing compared to what was in front of me, breathtaking.

  “Are you lost?” a voice asked beside me, causing me to jump. “It’s okay. It can be a little overwhelming in the beginning. You’ll get used to everything.”

  “Not sure if I will, but thanks for the vote of confidence,” I muttered, and peered at the woman next to me who had obviously noticed my newbie sensibilities. My gaze connected with soft brown eyes and a gentle smile. Thankfully, my nerves calmed a bit.

  “Do you have your information? I can help you.” She held her hand out toward me. “I’m Savannah by the way. I’m a senior. I volunteer to help the newbies for the first few weeks.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I said, digging in my front pocket with my free hand. A moment later I presented her with a piece of paper.

  “Gemma,” I said as I adjusted my floppy denim hat and the green tinted glasses I’d put on before the city bus dropped me off. As much as I disliked them, they were now a permanent part of my daily attire. “Guess I’m searching for my dorm.”

  “Okay. Are you new to Spokane? Your accent is pretty thick,” Savannah asked, her brow arching. She handed my information back to me and waited for my response.

  “Yeah. I just got off the Greyhound from Louisiana.”

  “You must be exhausted,” she said, her eyes wide. “And I know exactly where your dorm is. In fact, I’m heading that way. It’s close, but with your bag it would be a tough walk. I’m happy to give you a ride.”

  I kicked at the sidewalk with my well-worn tennis shoe. Was she for real? A total stranger offering me a ride?

  “It’s okay, maybe if you can point me in the right direction?”

  “Sure, I can. Oh, wait, I’ve got a better idea. I know someone else who has already moved in. Let me call her and she can meet us here and take you. You’ll like her. She’s...well, she’s Mackenzie,” Savannah said, laughing.

  I fisted my hands to stop them from shaking and forced myself to calm down. Remain aware, assess the situation. Could I trust her? Was she really who she said she was? My attention dropped to the sidewalk, and I inhaled slowly, tamping down the blooming fear inside me.

  “Mac? Hey, I’ve met someone new who just arrived from Louisiana, and she’s utterly lost. She’s in the same dorm you are in. Can you meet us at the student center? Yeah? You’re the best, thanks.” Savannah disconnected the call and peered at me.

  “She said she’s up the road and on her way. So how did you end up here in Washington?” she asked, shoving her cell in the back pocket of her jeans.

  “It was far away from Louisiana, and they offered me a full ride,” I mumbled. I figured it was close enough to the truth.

  “Well, welcome to the Inland Pacific Northwest,” she said, her smile lighting up her face.

  “Thanks.” I shuffled from one foot to the other while she continued the small talk.

  A car horn blared behind me, and I yelped. My hand covered my mouth as my cheeks heated.

  “Mac! You scared the shit out of her,” Savannah scolded.

  I turned around, and a dark-haired girl with braided pigtails rolled down the passenger’s window.

  “Sorry!” She waved for me to come closer. “I’m Mac. Grab your stuff, I’m headed to the dorm now.”

  My eyebrow arched as I shot Savannah a look.

  “She’s harmless, I promise,” Savannah said, patting me on the back, reassuring me.

  “Um, oh okay. Thanks for your help.” Against my better judgment, I snatched up my bag and hefted it into her back seat. A moment later I settled into the passenger’s side and buckled up.

  “Packed kinda light, didn’t you?” Mackenzie asked as she checked her mirrors and slowly merged back onto the street.

  “I don’t have much. Don’t need it.”

  “That’s great you keep it simple and welcome to Spokane! What’s your name? Savannah didn’t say, and I’m pretty sure it would be super rude not to ask you, right?”

  “Gemma,” I said, slipping in my name when she took a breath.

  “I love it,” she replied. “You don’t hear that name very often. I think it’s beautiful and I bet you do, too.”

  Flinching from her volume, I felt terrible for her roomie if she always spoke this loudly. Chiding myself, I remembered she was being kind and driving me to the dorm.

  “This is my sophomore year, and I’m getting my degree in art. That’s how I met Savannah. She’s majoring in art, too. What are you majoring in?”

  “Criminal justice,” I replied, surprised I could sneak an answer in between her incessant chatter.

  I cracked my window for some fresh air. Between her energy and voice volume, the car had started closing in on me. The last few days on a cramped bus had left me eager to stretch my legs, but instead I sat in a small car with a very loud, petite human being.

  “Do you like music?” she asked, her finger darting out to hit the power button. The speakers blared with heavy metal.

  Oh my God. What had I done? I cringed, reminded myself to breathe, and prayed the ride would be short. Suddenly, an overwhelming pang of sadness tugged at my heart while my mind wandered to Ada Lynn. Wasn’t this about the time we’d be on her porch? Was she there without me? Were my parents angry with her?

  “Here we are.” Mackenzie pulled up to the dorm, breaking through my thoughts. I assessed the red brick building and shrank into my seat. It was huge. Surely my entire hometown could fit inside it.

  “Thank you!” I yelled over the tunes while I opened the car door and grabbed my bag. With a deep sigh, I headed up the walkway. I reached into my pocket for my dorm room information and continued through the front doors. Families were filing into the building and milling around the huge lobby, bumping into me as we all made our way toward the elevator. Since I’d been sitting so much over the last several days, I opted for the stairs even with my heavy bag. Two flights and a mile-long hallway later, I stopped in front of my door. Room number 250. I sucked in a quick breath, along with some courage, and opened it.

  The room was small with hardwood floors, white walls, two twin beds, and built-in dresser drawers. One side was already unpacked. Well, I wouldn’t really ca
ll it unpacked. Instead, a pile of unfolded clothes and items were scattered all over one of the beds. If she kept her sloppiness to her side, I could learn to deal with it.

  I dropped my bag in front of the closet and peered inside. It was small, but it would work.

  My ears perked up as a group of girls ran screaming through the hallway. Startled, I jumped backward, landing on my ass. Giggles continued, so I assumed everything was okay and no one was hurt. Grateful no one had seen me overreact, I pushed myself off the floor and made quick work of unpacking.

  When my stomach growled, I realized I needed to find a cafeteria, somewhere to get some decent food. I'd subsisted on junk food for days—vending machine snacks and the occasional burger. And I was hungry.

  First, I wanted to call Ada Lynn. I had also promised her some pictures. After I snapped a few of me in my new room, I emailed them to her.

  My lips pursed as my phone screen flashed with seven missed calls, each one from my father. I’d been so wrapped up in my escape to Washington I’d refused to deal with the worry and stress I’d surely put them through. Refusing to dwell on it, I deleted the messages without listening to them. I knew him well enough to predict what they’d say.

  This isn’t God’s will, young lady. You should be ashamed of yourself, God is.

  My fingers tapped my screen, and seconds later the line on the other end rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Ada Lynn, it’s me.”

  “Gemma, you arrived in Washington okay?”

  “Yes, ma’am. How are you? How are Mom and Dad?”

  Ada Lynn’s chuckle filled the phone. “Pissed. We didn’t expect anything different, though did we?”

  I smiled sadly, and my heart ached to be with her.

  “I’m so proud of you. You made it. Now just don’t come back,” she said.

  “I’m going to do my best. This place is insane, and it’s huge.”

  “It sounds like it’s a big change, but you can do this, Gemma. You call me a few times a day if you need to. I’ll remind you of the big ol’ nothin’ you’re missing down here. Your parents may be a bit upset, but they are okay so don’t use them as an excuse either.”

  She knew me well, and I had to keep in mind this move was good for my parents, too. They’d spent too much time hovering over me and had given up their own lives in the process.

  “Yes, ma’am. How pissed are they?”

  “Oh, really mad. Your dad took to yelling at me, and I had to put him in his place real fast. However, your mom, she was shocked, but she’s also proud of you. Give them some time, they’ll come on around. You take care of you and remember your promise.”

  “I will.”

  “Love you, now you go on and find some new friends and call me tomorrow.”

  “Love you, too.”

  A tear snuck down my cheek as I ended the call and shoved my phone in my back pocket. My stomach reminded me it was past time to eat. I adjusted my hat and tinted glasses in the mirror. No one here knew I didn’t need them to see. They just hid my face, and I could observe people without them seeing my eyes very well. The unique color of my hair and eyes had always brought unwelcome attention back home. I never used to mind it, then everything changed.

  Somewhat content with my appearance, I headed out of the dorm in search of food. One of the most significant challenges I would have to deal with was the noise level. Since I'd attended an online college, I'd never dealt with other students, or the usual college antics—high-pitched girl screams, loud guys making asses of themselves around cute girls, so on and so forth.

  On the bus ride to Washington, I’d memorized the essential places on campus and how to reach them from my dorm, so I had a general idea of where to find my meals.

  My worn, second-hand Converses smacked against the pavement of the sidewalk as I took my time walking, cautiously taking inventory of my surroundings. Frowning, I pushed my glasses up my nose. I’d definitely have to get adjusted to them. The tint was enough to hide the color of my blue irises, but it was also more difficult to see things.

  I had a few hours before the sunset, which allowed me to explore the campus a bit.

  I peered at the trees, the numerous brightly colored flower baskets, and the lush, green grass. The smell of the freshly cut and manicured lawns tickled my nose. It was beautiful, and I never wanted to lose this moment of seeing everything for the first time. Nothing was skewed or ruined. It was brand new and alive.

  Loud laughter jarred me from my thoughts. My head jerked toward a group of five rowdy guys approaching me.

  “Hey baby, where’d you come from?” a tall, athletic dark-haired guy asked me.

  Completely ignoring him, I continued to walk.

  “Hey, trailer trash, I’m talking to you. Where’d you buy those clothes?”

  The guys hooted and slapped each other on the back like the insult had been the best they’d ever heard. I ignored them and moved forward. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t been around before. And for whatever reason, I didn’t care what they thought of my clothes.

  “Why don’t you take them off and let me see what you’ve got underneath? Maybe some perky tits? A cute little ass? Hard to tell with your cheap, shitty clothes hanging off you like that. And your fucking hat is horrible. Did you take it off your dead grandma’s head?” he asked, his volume growing louder with each word.

  I kept my attention straight ahead and met his insults with silence.

  “Hey, bitch. I’m talking to you.”

  Anger dripped from his words. Fear wrapped its cold fingers around my throat, and my hand dug into my front pocket, ready, just in case he stepped forward.

  “Dude, come on, leave her alone. If she wants to wear a potato sack, let her,” another guy piped up.

  Even though I tried not to, my focus turned toward them as they grew closer. My pulse double-timed while they broke out into hysterics. One of them stared, hands shoved in his jeans’ pockets, but he remained quiet. His eyes were trained on me as I walked around them, ignoring the comments and heckling. If I fed into it, they’d win.

  Fortunately, the asshole had a short attention span, and moments later, when they found some other girl to harass, I ducked around the corner of a building. Knots formed in my stomach, my legs gave out from under me, and I fell to the ground on my hands and knees. Trembling and unable to support myself, I dropped flat on my tummy and breathed in the aroma of the grass and dirt. Black dots danced across my vision, and I clawed at the lush green blades, willing my heart rate to slow down.

  When I felt steady enough to stand, I pushed myself off the ground. Still shaky, I leaned against the brick building, the coolness of the shaded stone comforting me. I cautiously stepped around the corner and thanked God the guys were nowhere to be seen. My eyes scanned the structure for a name and immediate relief spread through me. It was the library. I made a mad dash for the front door and pulled my phone out of my pocket, unwrapping the headphones as I hurried through the lobby.

  The second I stepped inside, the familiar scent of books greeted me, and I inhaled deeply. Shoving my earbuds in my ears, I tapped my Spotify app and went to my playlist. The librarian eyed me curiously, but I ignored her and went in search of the fiction section.

  After finding one of my favorite books, I plopped into a chair at a small table in the back corner and placed my forehead on the wooden surface. This was better. Books and music, minimal people around me.

  Flipping the novel open, I scanned the first page and willed my body to calm. My foot began to tap to Citizen Shade’s “Funk War,” the music cloaking me in safety. He could sing anything and make it sound good. I’d never heard another voice like his either.

  Although I’d read it multiple times, I slipped into another world as soon as I started reading The Hunger Games. Ten pages in, a hand snuck across the table and tapped a finger on the surface next to my book. My hand automatically jerked away, and my head snapped up at the intrusion. Folding my hands in my lap, I sco
wled at the guy who had settled into the chair diagonally from me. His expression was serious as he flipped his shoulder-length wavy brown hair over his shoulder. He ran a hand over his closely trimmed facial hair as his angular jaw tightened, and he motioned for me to remove my earbuds.

  “What?” I asked, my tone clipped. He wasn’t invited. This was my table.

  “Are you okay?” His bright blue eyes flashed with concern.

  My eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

  “Sure,” I replied. If he got his answer maybe he’d leave.

  “No, I’m serious, are you okay? You almost passed out behind the library. I was back there working on something,” he said in a hushed tone.

  My mouth gaped slightly. He’d seen me have a massive panic attack? I’d not seen anyone, but my knees had hit the ground so fast I hadn’t had time to look.

  “I’m fine.” Heat spread across my neck and ears, giving away my emotions.

  The weight of his gaze was unnerving as we stared at each other silently. Although my stomach churned, I refused to back down and let him know how much he had unsettled me. My chin tilted up in defiance. I wasn’t his problem, and I certainly didn’t want him hanging around.

  “There are plenty of other tables,” I offered and nodded toward them.

  “Okay. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. I didn’t mean to bother you.” He pushed his chair back and stood. “Nice glasses,” he mumbled before walking away.

  Was he being a smart-ass or was he serious? Maybe the hat was awful, but the glasses weren’t.

  My attention lingered on him as he made his way to another table. I’d not seen a hot guy since middle school, and even though I fought it, I was intrigued. His jeans hugged his lean legs and tight ass, his white T-shirt stretched across his muscular back and shoulders. However, his hair was the feature which grabbed me the most. It was perfection, and I had to resist the urge reach out and touch it.

  He probably got that a lot, girls wanting to touch his hair. The color of his eyes was almost as striking. In reality, though, none of this mattered. I still wondered what he wanted from me. I’d have to be careful moving forward; no more panic attacks in front of other people.