Echoes Beneath (The Truth Series Book 2) Read online

  “It was the coke, Xander. You know I’d never let anyone else touch me. You know I’m not like that! But apparently you are. How long? How long have you and Brittney been hooking up? The entire time we’ve been together?” I bit my lip and fought the tears that were pooling in my eyes.

  “No! Dammit!” He stood up and kicked the kitchen chair, which clattered to the floor with a bang. I cringed at the noise.

  “And it was the coke that made you hit me?” I asked as I laid the ice pack down on the table and glared at him.

  Xander took one long step toward me, lifted me out of the chair by my shoulders, and slammed me against the kitchen wall. My breath shot out of me as I struggled to regain my footing on the floor.

  “Yes, that shit makes me crazy, but so do you. Do you have any fucking idea what it was like seeing him touch you? Seeing you enjoy him kissing your neck and having his hand in your bra? Do you know how much that upset me? You’re mine,” he whispered as he ran his fingers over my bruised cheek, down my throat, and to the opening of my shirt.

  “You’re mine,” he said again and backed up. He stared at me for a moment as he ran his hand through his hair. Then he turned around and walked into the living room.

  I slid down the wall and crumpled to the floor. I would never use coke again. I never wanted to see his so-called friends again either, especially Brittney, and I never wanted him to go to another party. But I knew better. His nights out were becoming more and more frequent the longer we stayed together.

  I picked myself up off the floor and somehow made my way upstairs and into bed. I slept until Sunday morning.

  * * *

  When I woke up, Xander wasn’t in bed next to me.

  I showered and made my way downstairs. The house was eerily quiet as I searched for Xander, but he wasn’t there. I peeked through the living room curtain and realized his truck wasn’t there, either.

  Maybe he left me a note, I thought.

  I wandered back into the kitchen almost relieved he wasn’t home, but the longer I searched for a note, the more irritated I became. I sighed and warmed up some leftover coffee. Maybe some food would help. But I wasn’t really hungry; I just felt like shit.

  What had happened the other night? Who had I become? I sipped my coffee as I sat down at the kitchen table and looked at the clock on the stove. It was 11:04 a.m.

  I gently rubbed my cheek where he’d smacked me. It was swollen and black and blue. I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain it to everyone. Oh hey, yeah, we were all high and we did some really stupid shit.

  I wondered if Xander would stop if I asked him to. I’d already tried asking him and it didn’t work, and that was before I knew there was a lot more going on at those parties. I chewed my lip as I finally considered that Xander was cheating on me.

  There was a good possibility that I hadn’t heard Andy correctly. I was high. Hell, I was so high that I couldn’t even tell Xander’s hand from someone else’s. I guess if you really thought about it, I’d cheated on him last night, and he’d witnessed it. I had no proof that he was messing around on me at all.

  I finished my coffee, grabbed the rum, and made a drink. I walked into the living room, plopped down on the love seat, and turned on the TV. I missed Emma, but more than that, I missed myself.

  I was so intertwined with Xander that I didn’t know who I was without him. I wanted to call Emma and tell her how crazy everything was, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle her reaction. I sure as hell couldn’t tell her about last night. She wouldn’t understand. I never thought I’d have a life without her in it, but I guess I did now.

  Chapter 32

  “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Xander asked.

  “What do you mean? It’s Monday, and we have class,” I said as I frowned at him.

  I grabbed my books off the coffee table and stuffed them into my backpack.

  “You can’t go to class looking like that. Your face is black and blue. I’m not answering a bunch of questions, and neither are you. None of that would’ve happened if you hadn’t gotten high and let some guy feel you up.”

  “I told you I was sorry. I thought he was you. Please, Xander, I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me. I can put makeup on the bruise—I’ll cover it. I just need to go to class today.”

  “Nope, sorry,” he said. “We can see if it’s better by next week.”

  “Next week? Are you kidding me? I can’t miss a week of classes,” I said as my voice jumped up an octave.

  “Guess you should’ve thought about that earlier. I’ll see if I can get your assignments so you don’t get too far behind. Watch some TV until I get home this afternoon, or work on the next chapter in your textbooks. Whatever. I have to go now or I’ll be late.”

  My mouth dropped as I watched Xander walk out the front door and leave me standing there. I couldn’t miss an entire week of school. I had to figure something out. I threw my backpack across the room as his truck roared to life and I watched him drive away.

  I ran upstairs and grabbed my makeup to try and cover the bruise, but it showed no matter what. I leaned against the sink and finally allowed the tears to flow. How was I going to make things right with him again? How could I get him to understand that I really thought it was him and not John? I cringed at the thought of John’s hands on me. How was I going to fix this awful mess I’d made?

  I stood up and turned the cold water on. I splashed my face and patted my skin dry. Then I took a deep breath and gathered the laundry. I could at least clean the house and have a nice dinner ready for him; maybe that would be a good start at repairing the damage I’d done.

  By three o’clock, I’d dusted, vacuumed, mopped, cleaned the bathrooms, and finished all the laundry. The house sparkled and smelled amazing. I grabbed my lemon meringue pie recipe and began grating the lemons. It was Xander’s favorite.

  By five o’clock, I had wrapped the baked potatoes and prepared the steaks. We would be ready to eat by six. I glanced around the kitchen and living room and smiled, wincing slightly as pain shot through my face. Then I made a rum and Pepsi to drink while I waited for him to walk through the front door.

  * * *

  “Hello?”

  “Hi,” I said as I poked my head out of the kitchen and smiled.

  “It looks amazing in here. Wow, I should keep you home more often,” Xander said and laughed as he closed the door.

  “You are so not funny,” I said. “I’m making your favorite dinner for you. It’ll be done in a few minutes.”

  Xander entered the kitchen and wrapped his arms around my waist.

  “Mmmm, it smells so good,” he said as he nuzzled my neck.

  I giggled as I leaned back into him. It felt like it had been a long time since he’d held me. I turned and peered up at him.

  “I guess I know what you did today,” he said.

  “The house is all clean, the laundry is caught up, and dinner in the oven. I had to do something—I got bored,” I said.

  “Yeah? I’m pretty sure I can help you with that after we eat,” he said as he leaned down and kissed me.

  “I like the sound of that. I just want things to get better again. I love you.”

  “I love you too. I have a little surprise for us tonight.”

  “You do?” I asked, unable to hide the excitement in my voice. I kissed him as he pulled me in closer.

  Heat traveled through my body as our kiss deepened. Maybe he’d had the day to think about everything and he had decided things should get better. I hoped so. I didn’t want to lose him.

  I pulled away to take the baked potatoes out of the oven. I set the table, and we sat down to eat.

  “Were you able to get any of my assignments for me?” I asked.

  “No, sorry, babe. I’ll see what I can do over the next few days. You know my classes are on the other side of campus. I just didn’t have time today.”

  I nodded. I didn’t want to push anything and mess up our evening. S
o far things had gone well.

  We finished eating, and I poured another rum and Pepsi as I cleaned up the kitchen. I joined Xander in the living room after I was finished.

  “So, what’s this surprise?” I asked as I sipped my drink.

  “Well, I know the other night was a bit rough, so I was hoping we could have some fun tonight.”

  I tilted my head and waited for him to continue. He stood up and grabbed his backpack. He opened it and pulled out a small plastic baggie. I realized what it was before he even held it up for me to see.

  “What the hell?” I gasped.

  “Now wait just a minute. You’ve gotta try it again. This time it’s just us, no one else. Come on. You can at least give me a fun night after the shit you pulled with John.”

  I gawked at the baggie. Was he insane? I’d barely recovered from Friday evening.

  “Don’t get all freaked out,” he said as he sat back down on the couch. “The sex is fucking amazing. Try it one more time and if you don’t like it, fine—I won’t ask again.”

  I stared at him and then looked at the baggie. Was he right? Had we just had a bad night? I wanted to be with him, and I’d do almost anything to move past the episode with John. But not this. I couldn’t.

  “I’ve been drinking. I made a rum and Pepsi while cooking tonight. You said I shouldn’t mix the two.”

  “Shit, I didn’t even notice. I guess you always have a drink in your hand, huh?”

  “What? We drink together,” I retorted.

  He stared at me for a minute and then opened the baggie, put some on the coffee table, and began cutting it.

  “Wait. You’re going to use without me?”

  He ignored me, leaned over, and snorted a line. “Yup, that’s exactly what I’m doing. You don’t need to be high for me to fuck you.”

  “Baby,” I whispered. “Please, we were having a good night. Can’t we figure things out? I want to be with you, but not while you’re high. Xander, making love to you is everything to me, but not like this.”

  “Making love?” Xander laughed. “You think that’s what we do?”

  My face clouded with confusion.

  “Don’t you love me?” I whispered.

  He leaned his head back on the couch and smiled. I bit my lip as I waited for him to say something, but he sat in silence.

  “Xander?”

  “What?”

  “Don’t you love me?”

  “Well, I sure as shit don’t when you’re fucking nagging me. I just wanted to get past everything, figured we could have a little fun, and now you’re whining again. I hate it when you whine. Can you even hear yourself? Your voice changes and you sound like a little girl. You’re almost twenty. When the fuck are you going to grow up?”

  My mouth dropped as his words cut into me like knives. I’d rather have him hit me again than hear the words he’d just spoken to me.

  Xander stood up and grabbed his backpack. He put the baggie inside the hidden zipper.

  “Well, since you’re being a drag, I’m outta here.”

  “What? What do you mean? I thought we were going to spend the evening together?”

  “Guess not,” he said as he pulled his keys out of his pocket and walked out the front door.

  Chapter 33

  I sat in the dark as I heard the front door open. At least he’d made it home by 4 a.m.—I guess that was progress. I didn’t have to ask where he’d gone; I already knew.

  I heard his footsteps as he approached me from behind the love seat.

  “What are you still doing up?” he asked as he sat down beside me.

  I scanned his face to see if he was still high. I let out a small sigh of relief. He didn’t seem coked out.

  “I was waiting for you,” I whispered.

  He leaned his head back and stared into the darkness.

  “Did you win or lose tonight?” I asked.

  “I lost my ass,” he said as he rubbed his face.

  My stomach flipped as I thought I smelled a slight hint of perfume. Maybe I was wrong, though—it was so subtle that I wasn’t sure. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. I needed to confirm my suspicion. I didn’t take my eyes off him as I leaned back into my seat.

  “Who is she?” I asked.

  “What? You’re gonna start that shit again as soon as I walk in the house?”

  “Who is she? Is it Brittney?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

  Xander put his feet up on the coffee table and stared straight ahead.

  “What can I do?” I asked. “Why don’t you want me anymore? Is this about John? I’ve told you I’m sorry over and over again. I don’t know how to fix it,” I said as tears slipped down my face.

  “Are we really going to do this now?”

  “Yes. Yes we are. I need to know. The only time you want to be with me is when you’re high. Am I that bad? What’s so wrong with me that you don’t even want to screw me?” I hiccupped.

  “It’s not that. There’s just a lot of complicated shit going on.”

  “So you’re telling me it’s not my fault that you’re fucking Brittney?”

  Xander leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

  “Is this it?” I continued. “Are we over? Have you made your choice, and you’re going back to her?” I wiped away the tears that were now flowing freely down my cheeks.

  “Don’t cry. It’s . . . I’m all fucked up. There’s just . . .” He paused for a moment. “No, we’re not over. It only happened tonight, and it just got out of control. I’ll stay away from her. I’ll tell Andy I don’t want to be there if she’s there. I screwed everything up tonight, and I’m so so sorry,” he said as regret filled his face.

  “You’re breaking my heart. God, I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I said as I covered my face.

  “What? No! Don’t say that,” he pleaded as he turned toward me. His brown eyes were rimmed with red. Was he crying?

  “I’m not sure we can fix this,” I said and shook my head.

  He wiped his eyes and tried to clear the tears.

  “Babe, don’t leave me. I can’t take it if you do. I love you. You’re everything to me. It’s over with her, I promise.”

  “How can I believe you?”

  “I’ll stop everything. If you promise you won’t leave me, I’ll stop the coke, and I won’t see her again. Please.”

  I put my head in my hands and cried quietly. How could I forgive him? He’d just admitted to cheating on me with Brittney. What the hell was it with girls named Brittney?

  “I’m going to bed. You can do whatever the hell you want,” I said as I stood up and left him sitting on the love seat. I walked up the stairs, slipped into the guest room, and locked the door behind me. I crawled underneath the covers and cried myself to sleep.

  * * *

  The afternoon sunlight streamed through the curtains. I rubbed my eyes and sighed. I didn’t want to wake up. I didn’t want to get out of bed and face my screwed-up life. My heart ached as I lay there and stared at the ceiling. Our conversation replayed through my head.

  I tossed off my covers and rubbed my bare feet on the rug. I wanted to feel something other than pain. I wanted to focus on the soft fabric against my skin; anything that might feel good.

  My stomach growled, and I unlocked the door and made my way downstairs and into the kitchen.

  “Hey,” Xander said.

  I jumped at the sound of his voice. “What the hell are you doing here? I figured you’d be at school. You scared the crap out of me.”

  “Sorry,” he said as he ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t want to go. You weren’t in our bed, and after last night, I couldn’t leave you. I can’t lose you. So, I thought if I stayed home, maybe we could talk about everything and move forward.”

  I shook my head as I grabbed a coffee mug and filled it. “And how are we going to move forward? How do you think I’m going to be able to do that?” I asked as I leaned against the kitchen counter
. I didn’t want to sit with him at the table. I needed some space.

  “I meant what I said this morning. I won’t even be around her. It was a stupid mistake. We were coked up, and it happened, but that was the first time.”

  I winced at his words.

  “Stop it. I don’t want to hear another word about her.” I clenched my jaw at the thought of them together.

  “Okay, I understand. I got crazy over John, so I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now. Just please tell me we can fix this,” he pleaded.

  I paced across the kitchen as I tried to find the right words. My stomach churned as I thought about my life without him, but I couldn’t allow him to cheat on me, either.

  “If, and I mean if, I decide to give you one more chance, that means no more coke, no more women except me, and no more late nights at Andy’s or anywhere else. If you want me, then you have to act like it. I’m tired of being treated like your whore. You either love me or you don’t. And you have to tell me now.”

  “I love you. I do. No more late nights, no more Brittney, and no more drugs. I swear, just please tell me you’ll give me another chance.”

  I sighed as I stared at him. I wanted things to get better, I loved him. He’d become my entire world, and I couldn’t stand the thought of him not being it in. What if he really did stop using? Would that fix everything?

  “Okay. One more chance,” I said as I put my coffee cup on the table.

  Xander stood up so fast his chair almost toppled over. He grabbed me and picked me up. I wrapped my legs and arms around him while he hugged me. His fingers dug into my back as we clung to each other.

  I blinked my tears away as he sat me down.

  “I’m taking you out tonight.”

  “I can’t go anywhere until my cheek gets better.”

  He gently ran his fingers across my bruise.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

  I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “It’s over, right? It won’t happen again, so let’s not dwell on it. I just want us to move past this and let things get better.”

  Xander leaned down and kissed me. “I have an idea. I’ll be back in a little while.”