Love & Ruin (The Love & Ruin Series Book 1) Read online

  “Well, Gemma, here we are.” Hendrix waved his arm toward the dorm, emphasizing my name. “It’s been an unforgettable night for sure. I look forward to more.” He flashed me his smile, and despite the fact I’d willed it not to happen, my pulse quickened.

  “Thanks, Hendrix,” Mac said, beaming up at him.

  My attention bounced between them. What was I missing? Mac had mentioned they had attended the same high school, and now that they were standing next to each other, it was apparent they knew each other. Did they have a history?

  I adjusted my hat and stared at the ground, unwilling to let them see my expression as things began to fall into place. They were obviously friends, but something had gone on. Why hadn’t she told me?

  “Sing. Please, something quick,” Mac begged Hendrix, clapping her hands like a little kid.

  I bit my lip in anticipation, focusing on him again.

  “Mac, this probably isn’t the place.” He raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Who cares! Do you understand what this will do for Gemma’s and my cred? Like, every girl in the dorm will want to be my new best friend. No offense Gemma, I won’t replace you. You’re still my bestie, but this could do amazeball things for our social life.”

  “I don’t want a social life,” I groaned at her idea.

  “Oh, you don’t? Okay, I’ll sing,” Hendrix laughed. The air stood still as his raspy voice broke through the night and he sang “I Can’t Breathe” by Bea Miller. Chill bumps danced down my spine. I was pretty sure I could listen to him for hours. Out of nowhere, something stirred inside me, and I found myself softly harmonizing with him. His eyes widened as my voice blended with his. Mac gawked and covered her mouth with both of her hands, remaining quiet while we sang.

  And just for a minute, I stepped out of this hellhole called my life and into a beautiful place enriched with melody, his deep, smooth tone allowing me to hope, for a fleeting second, things might be okay.

  Our song ended, our voices fading into the quiet of the night. His eyes found mine and I returned his gaze, wrapped up in the moment.

  Clapping broke the silence, and my cheeks flushed as I realized how many people were surrounding us. A crowd had gathered, but I hadn’t noticed. My only focus had been Hendrix and the music.

  “Give me your phone,” Hendrix said, smiling down at me.

  Without hesitation, I handed it to him and watched him enter his number on my screen.

  “Your turn.” I did as he requested. Speechless, I handed his back to him.

  “I’ll see you in the library tomorrow,” he said to me. “Night, Mac.” He gave a little wave and strolled away.

  “What in the hell just happened?” Mac asked me.

  I stood there, completely befuddled. “No damned clue,” I said. The girl’s chatter brought me out of my daze. “You have some serious explaining to do.” I grabbed her arm and made our way to the dorm room.

  “What do you mean?” Mac asked, innocently.

  “There are too many people around right now. We’ll talk in our room,” I said as we ran up the stairs to our floor.

  As soon as we were in our room, I flopped onto my bed.

  “Spill, like right now.”

  “I don’t understand what you want, Gemma.” She hopped onto her bed and rooted around, attempting to straighten her blankets.

  “How do you know Hendrix, other than school I mean? Why did you bring him to help me?” I demanded.

  “Totally obvi, Gemma. The moment the cops showed I could smell it in the air. Ya know, the shit you were steppin’ in. I knew something was off. You’re a wallflower, not a rabble-rouser.”

  “A what?” I was floored by the description.

  “Troublemaker, instigator, rabble-rouser,” she repeated for me slowly.

  I laughed as she over accentuated each word. “Shit, it’s really not funny.”

  “No, it’s not. It will be okay, though. You’re not getting suspended or in any trouble. Hendrix will think of something.”

  “He mentioned his dad was an attorney?”

  Mac leaned against the wall and released a huge breath, sinking into her bed. “Yeah, he is,” she muttered. “He’s just not practicing now.”

  “Retired?”

  “Something like that.”

  She’d given me the same response Hendrix had. How could I not be curious about it?

  “So, yes, I grabbed him because when I saw him, I realized if anyone could help, it would be him. He’d be able to stand up to Brandon and the dean without any real consequences. Hendrix is very well known around Spokane, Gemma. His dad was a big shot lawyer at one time, and he holds some major clout in the city.”

  “Oh.” Suddenly I felt small and insignificant.

  “But what the hell! You’ve been totally holding out on me. Gurl! You can fucking sing!”

  “What? No, no, I was only having a little bit of fun. Honestly, I didn’t mean to start singing. He’s just so damned good, and I knew the song. It sorta happened. And did you know he could sing like that? Oh. My. God.”

  “Mm-hmm. I also saw some digits being exchanged.”

  “Digits?” I asked. Where in the world did this girl come up with this shit to say?

  “I saw him put his phone number in your phone! Gah! You’re driving me nuts, catch up already.”

  “You’re overreacting, Mac. Calm down.”

  “Nu-uh. You have Hendrix’s phone number, and he has yours.”

  “So what? We sang together. We like music. Besides,” I paused, rolling my eyes for extra emphasis so she’d calm down, “he sits at my library table every day.”

  “What?” Mac squealed and hopped off her bed and over to mine.

  “Why are you acting all─” I stammered for the right words. “Like this is a big deal. I guess we’re friends?” I shrugged and held up my hands in question.

  “Umm, why haven’t you told me he’s been sitting with you every day at the library? This is super important info, Gemma!” She pointed at me for extra emphasis.

  “Mac, we’ve barely spoken until today. And all we did was search through each other’s playlists on Spotify. He was writing his own song, and I saw it. We chatted for like sixty seconds. Nothing else. You’re trying to make this into something it isn’t.” At that moment, fear shot through me as I realized I was letting a guy get close to me. I couldn’t allow this. We couldn’t be friends. It didn’t matter if he was able to help me with Brandon. Not happening.

  “I disagree. I think he likes you. Consider it, Gemma.”

  “No! I don't want to. Don’t you understand it, Mac? I don’t want to be around any guys. Not nice ones, not mean ones, none. Zilch. Nada.”

  Mac leaned back against the wall, her forehead tightening in a frown. “Take off your glasses and the damned hat. It’s just me.”

  “Why?” I asked, adjusting the hat lower over my forehead.

  “Take it off,” she said sternly.

  I huffed and placed the items on my desk. “Better?”

  “Yes, much. Now I can see your eyes and read your face. So, let me get this straight. You’re telling me you don’t want to be friends or anything else with Hendrix?” she questioned.

  “No, it’s not what I’m saying. I don’t want to be friends with Hendrix or any guy for that matter. None. Got it?”

  We both went silent for a moment, and my breath hitched in my throat.

  “Something happened, didn’t it?” she asked softly, grabbing my hand and holding it firmly.

  I attempted to jerk it away from her, but her grip was too strong. “Mac, we have an agreement, so I’m going to kindly remind you of said agreement. I’m your bestie, and in return, you agreed to not ask questions.”

  Mac blew out a breath and released my hand.

  “Yup, I remember, sorry.” She nervously rubbed her hands up and down her jeans and glanced down at her lap. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push. Shit just flies out of my mouth sometimes.”
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br />   “Sometimes? How about all the time,” I said, irritated. “It’s fine. Let’s drop it, okay?” A sigh escaped me as I let it go.

  “Yeah.”

  “Besides, you still haven’t answered my question,” I reminded her as I twisted my long hair around a finger.

  “Which question?” she asked, peering at me.

  “How do you know Hendrix? I mean, it’s obvious you are more than acquaintances. There’s definitely something between the two of you. Did you used to date or something?”

  A loud giggle escaped her tiny body.

  “No, nothing like that,” she insisted.

  “So, what gives? I’d assumed since you went to the same school that you knew each other, but you two really know each other.”

  Mac closed her eyes for a minute. “You’re right,” she said, opening them again. “We have a past.”

  “What kind of past?” I asked, my curiosity peaking.

  “We didn’t date.” She paused and wrinkled her nose at me.

  “What? I thought you liked him or something.”

  “Eww, no!” She cowered down and tugged on her braid. “No! I mean I do like him, he’s a great guy. And he’s got substance, he’s not just an amazing voice and hot body. And since I do know him so well, I can totally say it in a non-sexual way.”

  “Mac! Stop. Quit rambling and focus. How do you know Hendrix?”

  “Shit,” she said, sighing loudly.

  Silence hung in the air while I waited for her to respond.

  “He’s my older brother.”

  Chapter 7

  For the third time that night, my mouth hit the floor.

  “What?” I screeched. “And you left out this information...why?”

  Floored by the news, I fell back onto my bed, grabbed my pillow, and placed it over my head.

  “Well I didn’t realize he was your library buddy for starters. The only time you’ve mentioned him was when he stood up to Brandon for you. I only share the info about Hendrix and me on a need-to-know basis.

  I tossed the pillow off me and bolted upright. “Tell me. All of it. Now,” I demanded.

  Mac’s shoulders slumped forward. “Fine.” Her lips formed a pout as she shot me a look. “You can’t tell anyone this. It was hard enough living in his shadow in high school. I’m not interested in putting that part of my life on repeat.”

  “Agreed.” She had kept my secret, and now I would repay the favor and keep hers.

  “We’re step-siblings actually.”

  My forehead creased as I wrapped my head around what she’d just told me. “Okay. Keep going.” I motioned for her to continue. For all the times Mac ran off at the mouth, this story should be flowing off her tongue. Why was she struggling?

  “My mom was married to his dad, Franklin. She was his second marriage, and Franklin had Hendrix from his first marriage. After eight years, Mom left because he worked too much. I was in elementary school at the time. Anyway, Hendrix’s dad remarried, and it’s a long story. What I will say is when his dad’s career went into the shitter he started drinking, and Hendrix took care of him.”

  “Oh,” I said. “That’s a lot for a kid to take on,” I whispered and imagined Hendrix taking care of a drunk father. My insides cringed with regret for him.

  “Things turned to shit real fast, though, and Hendrix came to live with Mom and me. We were in junior high by that time. Everyone knew he was my brother and it sucked. He was popular, and everyone loved him. I was the younger sister that wouldn’t shut up and was a constant annoyance.”

  “Did he say those things to you, Mac?”

  “No,” she mumbled. “I could tell from how everyone acted around me. Like, I’d be in mid-conversation, and his friends would just walk off. Hendrix would frown and leave with them. He didn’t know how to handle it, I guess. It didn’t take long before we ignored each other at school, and eventually everyone forgot about me and moved on,” she said, her voice sharp with pain.

  “Including him?”

  “At school, yes. At home we were fine. He was my best friend, but the moment we stepped outside, we had different worlds. I accepted it and realized it was the easiest thing for both of us. It seemed to bother me less if he and his friends weren’t around.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry, Mac. It had to have been difficult. And everyone seems to really like you.”

  “They do, I guess. It’s better here than it used to be. I think since it’s a big campus, people can avoid me if they want to.”

  “Mac,” I scolded. “Don’t be ridiculous. Savannah had great things to say about you. Hendrix was there the second you needed him, and I’m here every day. We’re not going anywhere. Sometimes having a small group of loyal friends is way better than a big group of acquaintances, and never knowing who you can trust or where you fit in. Shit, we all feel like that sometimes. Look at me. I don’t fit in at all, but I’m not whining about it. I just want to be left alone.”

  Mac searched my face, her expression growing serious.

  “Are you going to tell me someday, Gemma?” she asked, softly.

  “No. I’m not. We protect each other’s secrets, and that’s it. I owe you nothing, and you owe me nothing.”

  Her gaze narrowed. I knew Mac well enough to realize the wheels in her head were turning a million miles an hour, attempting to figure out my hat, glasses, and clothes.

  “Fine,” she said and shot me a dirty look.

  “Fine,” I snapped as she hopped off my bed and back to hers.

  Silence settled into the room. This was the first time Mac and I had argued, and it sucked. I’d not realized how close we’d gotten.

  “Thank you for not telling anyone about Hendrix,” she muttered with her back to me as she snuggled underneath her blankets.

  My heart softened. Mac seemed as lost and alone as I was. “It’s what friends are for,” I replied, attempting to make up for my earlier rudeness.

  She rustled around, turning toward me. “Yeah?” Hope flickered in her eyes.

  “Yeah,” I responded.

  A smile eased across her pretty features, and we both snuggled into our beds. I willed my body to relax in the hope that I would drift off to sleep. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t rid my thoughts of the night’s events.

  * * *

  “I went to an on-campus concert. Can you believe it?” I asked, squealing into my phone.

  “What? Gemma, that’s wonderful. Tell me everything,” Ada Lynn said.

  I leaned against my pillow and updated her on everything—Mac, Hendrix, the concert. I could practically hear her smiling. I purposely left out my run-ins with Brandon. Ada Lynn was on blood pressure and heart medication. No need for her to get worked up when there was nothing she could do about that asswipe. Besides, she'd be on the next plane to club him with her purse and cane.

  I loved Ada Lynn with all my heart, and if anything were to happen to her, I'd be on the first bus to Louisiana.

  I was surprised to admit it, but I didn't want to leave Spokane just yet.

  “This Mac sounds like a character, but in a good way,” Ada Lynn piped in once I finished updating her on my simple life at college.

  “How are the folks?” I asked, steering the conversation away from dangerous territory. “Has Dad found a job?”

  “No, he hasn’t.” Ada Lynn’s tone dropped an octave. “I was going to tell you at the end of the conversation. Now will do fine I suppose.”

  Fear shot through me and my back stiffened. “What is it?”

  “Your mom is going to call you tonight. Gemma, you need to pick up the phone and talk with her.”

  “What? Why? What aren’t you telling me?” My pulse raced.

  “I’ll be here for you after your mom talks to you, but Gemma, it’s not my place to tell you anything. She’ll be calling you shortly. In fact, as soon as we hang up, I’ll have her call you, okay?”

  “You’re scaring me. Do I need to come home?”

  “No. Don’t you dare,”
she said sternly.

  My shoulders relaxed a little bit. Maybe I’d jumped to the wrong conclusion. “Okay, let’s hang up so she can call. I’ve got about thirty minutes before my roommate comes back and I won’t have any privacy.”

  “All right. You call me back after you talk to her, okay?”

  “I will.”

  Pulling the phone away from my ear, I ended the call and stood. The small room didn’t afford much space for pacing, but I managed. Back and forth, back and forth. My mind sped along with different scenarios as I waited for Mom to call.

  Finally, my phone buzzed in my hand.

  “Mom?” I asked.

  “Hi, honey. It’s so nice to hear your voice.”

  I sank into a sitting position on the edge of my bed. Hearing her voice after so many weeks filled me with sadness and regret for leaving the way I did. I missed her. Them.

  “Ada Lynn says you’re doing really well,” she said, continuing with the small talk.

  “I am, Mom. I’m doing great.”

  “That’s good, honey.” Mom took a shaky breath. “Gemma, your dad...”

  “He can’t find a job?” I asked, interrupting her. I scolded myself. I had to be careful not to pick up Mac’s bad habits.

  “Well, he’s not searching right now.”

  Puzzled, I waited for her to continue.

  “He’s sick, hon.”

  “What do you mean sick?” I asked, jumping off my bed and pacing again.

  “He’s got lymphoma. He had his first chemo treatment today.”

  Silence lingered over the line while I struggled to understand what she’d just told me.

  “I’ll come home,” I said, barely above a whisper.

  “No. You will not come home. We’re getting it treated, and there is nothing you can do here. You stay put, and you have my word if I need you, I’ll let you know. Until then─don’t you dare. All I ask is that you talk to him. He misses you so much.”

  A lump formed in my throat as tears threatened my eyes.

  “Yeah. I’ll talk to him, but Mom, if he starts in with how I’m not in God’s will, I’m done. Those are his beliefs. They’re not mine.” I cringed. I’d never stood up to my parents about their religious views. My heart pounded against my chest, waiting for her reaction.